~20th October 2014 ~

Hi & Assalamualaikum..

This is my first entry for 2015..Alhamdulillah.. still alive & healthy..  it's been a while i haven't updated any of my activities here.. well, too busy with life.. & to slow down being too open to everyone right now.. coz i know there's a lot of stalkers who want to know about me/ my current condition/ my current life right now..

Today, i don't want to talk about myself..but i want to talk about my dearest best friend forever who just passed away on 20th October 2014.. finally, i had the courage to talk about her.. all of our memories.. photos that you've never seen before, i'll upload here..rindu sangat...sungguh... Izzatul Huda Binti Abdul Ghaffar.. reminiscing all those moments with her, i know i'll tear up again.. actually, for your info, this is the second time i lost the most important people in my life.. the second BFF that i lost within 5 years.. i did wrote about my 1st BFF who passed away in 2009, previously.. arwah Nurul Diyana Roslan, who died suddenly after being absence one day from our industrial training..it was the most painful things that ever happened in my life.. & now, i faced the second lost.. but this time, it's different.. as we all know (we refer to our BFF: Zati, Dj, Faz & Me) that Huda had been sick for a long time.. as for Diyana, we know that she's healthy & well.. unless a day before she got MC.. she looked so sick.. but Huda, she's been diagnosed with this rare disease (Hodgkin's Lymphoma Disease) more than a year ago, before she died peacefully.. :')

Let's begin the story of how i knew Huda.. i still remember that time, minggu orientasi pelajar, for new student.. since i've known Faz & Dj as we are in the same class in Pahang Matriculation College (KMPH), i always follow them everywhere.. the first time i greet Huda, Faz &Dj introduced me to her kat Dewan Sultan Mizan, Universiti Malaysia Terengganu. she looked so familiar.. and i was told that she from KMPh too...no wonder.. my first impression about Huda is: nampak sombong & garang...pastu the way she looked at me..i didn't like it..orang ganu  cakap pandang slack je.. like i did something wrong... hahaha... we didn't talk much.. & that's all i remember.. but later on, after lectures & lab started, we became very close to each other.. and it ends up with 6 of us always been together, everywhere around campus..me.. zati..DJ.. faz.. huda.. yana.. always in the same group.. lab group..presentation group.. we sits together in front of the lecture hall.. in which i always sleep during lectures.. haha.. duduk depan sekali pon berani sleepkan? confident sangat.. lols.. tapi nasib baik i've good friends yang akan sentiasa cuba buat mata ni terbukak.. cubit la.. urut la..tepuk bahu la.. how i really miss that moment..going classes together with them..makan sama..lepak sama..tangkap gambar sama2 sebab kami camwhore.. & non-stop chit chat..  :')

masa ni kami baru balik bidong.. program survival laut.. habis burn muka sorang-sorang.. boring petang2..pegi lepak pantai UMT.. 

complete the 6 of us.. yes..when we gathered, memang kami gila-gila begini..selfie depan laptop lepas assignment pon boley.. rindu korang wehh.. :')

During lectures & lab..everywhere.. glad we had the proof of that memories..student of Bachelor of Science (Biological Sciences) memang suka bergambar.. hehe :)

 

DHC family day.. 

National Day month.. 2007

 

DHC Annual Grand Meeting.. 

DHC Dinner.. our first event.. :)

After our first exam in UMT..  

 During our fieldwork.. 

 

The Biologist people.. during the orientation day of new student :)

During DJ's surprise birthday party.. ;)

BFF's hangout.. and we do silly things.. jumpa mesin gambar kat Giant KT..jakun jap.. terus explore..haha..but this time Faz tak ada.. we do love camera so much.. & i never met someone that love to take pictures & be ourselves like all of these people.. we did enjoyed very much that day.. a really great memories.. with both of my late BFF, Huda & Yana.. :')

 During our second year Dinner.. This is our last memories with arwah Yana.. the picture of 6 of us.. Yana died during our industrial training..do refer my old post about her.. but after her death, our friendship became stronger..

Yana died during our early industrial training.. this is when zati & me met Huda & DJ after the incident because we went for training in Makmal Veterinar Kuantan..Masa ni kami lepak sama-sama kat Pantai Teluk Cempedak, Kuantan..bercerita bagaimana incident tu berlaku..apa perasaan kami..pergi main kat Megamall kot masa ni..  sempat tgk wayang dengan Huda juga sbb 2 malam kami disini.. tengok cite senario 'jangan pandang belakang congkak'.. kami gelak kuat sangat dlm panggung tu..yes.. i do remember every details of the event.. :')

 our first semester without Yana.. semasa majlis our department.. 

and this is during Jamuan Hari Raya at my house.. and Zati's after that.. but awal pagi kami pergi kubur arwah Yana dulu..kawan-kawan UMT yang duduk jauh masa kejadian tak sempat melawat arwah.. we do have fun.. and masa ni i still remember.. how Huda compliment me due to my delicious spagetti & chocolate cake.. "Hani, sedapnya..sedapnya.."  (crying T_T)

sampling..lab work..during final year..we do have fun & great memories!

us..during the photo session.. :)

During Dean's List Event anjuran Fakulti Sains & Teknologi.. The 5 of us managed to get Dean's List for 5th semester.. i'm sure Yana was proud with us.. we've made it up & down together.. nothing make me happier that day.. being successful together with my best friends is the best feeling ever.. :)

20 Dec 2009.. hanging out with friends..treats from Dean's list people.. ;)

This pic was taken at Killiney's in 6 Februari 2010.. miss them.. rindu nak lepak lama2..snap pic.. & buat perangai gila-gila.. :P

 During our Bengkel Kerjaya early 2010.. 

During our final year DHC Dinner.. 12 Mac 2010..

After our graduation in 2010, Huda pursue her master degree in UMT, while i went to UPM.. but sometimes, whenever i had free times, i'll visit her at UMT or we hang out together during weekend.. pernah buka puasa sama-sama pun.. The pic of me holding the grass wearing the dress, Huda told me to do so.. "hani, nah amik rumput ni.. aku amek gambar" while she told me to pose like that.. :'( 

And this is the last picture with Huda when she was still healthy.. before she was diagnosed with Hodgkin Lymphoma Cancer.. This pic was taken in 30 May 2013.. during Zati's wedding.. i stay with Huda for 2 nights during the event as Huda's place was near to Zati's house.. we did have a long conversation about our life.. Huda help me a lot to set up the candy buffet for Zati's wedding.. & even at one of my customer in Dewan Konvensyen Taman Tamadun Islam the next day.. since our graduation in 2010, this is the longest time i spent with Huda.. exactly before she fall sick.. i just thought.. maybe Allah SWT give me an opportunity to stay a bit longer with her at this time..   

And after the event, few months later, one day Huda whatsapp us her pic.. with swollen face..we thought it just normal disease.. even Huda herself didn't know what kind of disease she's having for a long time.. and the first time i visited her was on 28th September 2013 in HUSM Kota Bharu with my fiancee and BFF DJ.. we drove from KL, slept at my house for a night and the next day went to KB and directly return to KL..i did post in insta & FB.. her face was a bit swollen this time.. but she did lost a lot of weight..

"we go through a long journey just to see her.. our BFF huda.. get well soon syg！ we love u mucho.. :) "

There's so many things about Huda.. She's the most active person in our group.. she's the one who introduced me to beach volleyball.. and i get to know a lot of awesome people especially budak2 debat, tarian & etc.. even few staffs too.. i'm not that kind of people who socialize a lot..but Huda did change me..and Huda la yang buat our group whatsapp with the name of "Amanita Verosa".. it's the name of the fungi which had been selected by us during fieldwork ..What else about Huda? Huda love to takes pictures.. she loves to eat delicious foods too..listening to songs.. and for your info,  she's the one who introduced me to K-POP.. DBSK/TVXQ.i just love to hear her stories.. her chattering..her gossips.. since she knows a lot about what 's happening in our surrounding as i'm not a person who love to socialize with other people..haha.. because i always with Huda most of the times, in groups, class & etc, Huda know mostly everything about me.. who i hate.. who i don't like.. who i like to be with.. .and we do talk about crush & love too.. she even confessed to me that she had crush on someone.. and she even knew if there's a person who was interested on me too.. i still remember.. one day Huda suddenly told me.. "Hani, hani tau x? dah lama orang perasan ni .. ada "si polan bin si polan" ni dah lama aku perhati..dia selalu pandang Hani.. dia selalu curi-curi tengok Hani.. dia selalu usik Hani.. aku rasalah dia minat kat mu Hani..Dia nak kat mu.."  even she noticed what happened around me.. but Huda.. if only you know... that the person you are referring to..he's the same person who almost ruined my life.. who broke my heart.. the one who changed me into who i am right now.. in which i'll never be the same person again.. the person that i used to be..and with scattered and broken heart, i try hard to live once again..i try my best to fix everything..and even now after years, the scars was still there..  if only you know syg.. :'')






Since she had the disease, Huda selalu keluar masuk hospital for treatment.. buat chemotherapy & etc.. going to hospital was her routine.. but we always catch up with each other through whatsapp.. Due to her bad condition (she cannot exposed to outside environment because it would make her sick), Huda didn't come to my solemnization & wedding day on 26 & 27 March 2014.. i do feel sad.. because i know, if she was there, she'll help me a lot.. she'll make me happy.. and it will become merrier.. but i understand and i don't want her condition to be worsen..

The last time i met Huda when she still healthy (able to talk & walk) on 31st May 2014.. masa tu ada kenduri sambut menantu adik Huda..Syakir.. but since my husband and I from Terengganu, and we're on the way back to KL, we just drop by at her house & visited her.. she's so thin.. lost more than 20 kg i thought.. before this,our weight were just about the same.. just imagine how thin she was.. :'(..we talked a lot about her condition.. and she still managed to smile..laugh.. 'kepoh-kepoh' like she used to be.. we talk much at that time.. Huda even show her brother's wedding pic to me.. sampai maghrib kami stay kat rumah Huda..even after the event pun still ramai saudara mara Huda yang datang selepas majlis..and of course to visit her..

my last pic with her on 31st May 2014.. muka Huda agak sembab..but her body was so thin.. peha pun dah xde isi.. (T_T)

The truth is.. we didn't know exactly what kind of disease that Huda's been suffering .. Huda rarely talk about this.. and we, Amanita Verosa was kinda afraid to ask..and of course, to take care of her feelings.. we didn't want to hurt her.. it's enough that she had been suffering from the disease.. sebab kami tahu orang sakit ni they tend to be more sensitive.. so most of the time we just ask "Huda macam mana? sihat".. "huda kat mana sekarang?" "Dr kata apa?".. we always try to be happy and positive when talk to her.. we always encourage her.. advice her.. because we do love her.. we didn't want her to give up.. Huda didn't want to know what stage of cancer she's having.. maybe because she's trying to be positive all the time that she'll recovered.. she did hope that she'll be healthy again.. we do hope the same for her.. i just know this from her mom during our last visit when Huda was in ICU.. she just found out that she was in stage 4 already when she had the courage to ask her Dr during the treatment..




Another thing that i still remembered related to Huda is that there's someone who did made Huda sad & hurt.. asking some insensitive questions about her condition.. Huda rarely  luah perasaan kat kami in group.. but maybe she can't bear it anymore.. ada seorang hamba Allah SWT ni.. dia buat Huda sedih & terluka dengan kata-kata dia.. we didn't know who.. but she did give a hint.. and i think i know who the person is.. Huda cakap..orang tu selalu tanya pasal diri dia.. tanya condition dia..update pasal dia.. tak tahu la sebab caring/ just want to know her condition.. tapi ada something yang dia tanya yang menyebabkan Huda terus menjauhi & tak reply her message/whatsapp maybe.. we didn't know exactly what the person asking, but it's something like this.. " Huda.. yakin ke boleh sembuh?" "chances untuk sembuh berapa %?" bukan nak kata.. but i do think this person as stupid moron, insensitive and unhearted person..bodoh piang (orang utara) cakap.. sebab apa? sebab tanya soalan yang tak wajar kepada orang yang dah la menderita sakit, kau tambahkan derita kat perasaan dia.. kau persoalkan kerja tuhan.. which she didn't even know as well.. selama ni dia berusaha utk positive.. penuh harapan nak sembuh.. tapi kata-kata tu dah buat dia down.. cuba bayangkan korang kat tempat Huda.. xtau sakit apa.. xtau bila sembuh..xtau sampai bila boleh bertahan.. then ada orang tanya korang macam tu.. apa perasaan? aku yang x duduk tempat Huda pon rasa sakit hati sangat..menyirap je dengar.. i thought this person tak pernah belajar sivik kot..tak pernah belajar bertimbang rasa & mcm mana nak jaga hati & perasaan orang lain.. kalau ada yang baca blog ni terasa dialah orang yang Huda cakapkan tu, satu je aku nak suggest.. sila bertaubat & muhasabah diri..





I still remember when I received the news.. Huda was in ICU.. Allah SWT saja yang tahu perasaan ni.. cuma satu je harapan.. semoga Allah SWT bagi diri ni peluang untuk bertemu Huda semasa dia hidup buat kali terakhir.. banyak kali saya doa dalam hati macam tu.. Pada 11 October 2014, my husband, DJ , Zati & me, went to visit Huda in ICU KB..kami sampai dalam waktu melawat area 11-12 pm mcm tu.. masa sampai pun hati dah berdebar-debar.. nampak ayah Huda, terus kenalkan diri.. cakap dengan ayah Huda masa tu pun suara dah bergetar & mata berkaca.. tak tahu kenapa masa tu rasa sebak sangat..kami tunggu di luar..masa tu adik bongsu Huda, Najla masuk bilik ICU lawat kakak dia dengan ayahnya.. tak lama lepas tu Najla keluar sambil menangis berlari ke arah mak Huda.. i know..she was so sad.. kami yang lihat pun rasa sangat sedih.. x tahan terus nangis jugak.. Huda so close to her family.. Her family is the priority.. and i know she is a very good daughter.. a good sister.. then, zati & DJ masuk dulu.. i wait outside with my husband.. when it's our turn, lama kena tunggu sbb nurse tengah check her condition.. then, we went inside the room..




Masa tengok Huda unconscious macam tu, sedih sangat.. Huda sangat-sangat kurus.. apa yang saya boleh cakap, Huda memang tinggal tulang je.. xde isi langsung.. kurus sangat.. tengok Huda macam tu, laju je air mata ni mengalir.. it's really heartbreaking.. i miss her laugh.. i miss her smile.. i hold her hand.. and try to talk to her.. and i know she noticed that i'm coming for her as she nodded her head twice.. i told her to be strong.. i told her that she need to get well again.. i told her that i love her.. and if her time had arrived, i actually had prepared myself to let her go.. because my will to see her for the last time had been accomplished..mak Huda ada cerita.. Huda active..mostly staf HUSM kenal dia.. Huda banyak luangkan masa dengan melukis..but before dia masuk ICU, mak Huda cakap Huda lebih suka bersendiri.. Huda tak pegang hp..no wonder we didn't hear about her for a long time until we found out that she was in ICU.. and a day before kami melawat, Huda sedar.. she can't speak.. but she did wrote something on paper and give to her mum.. she wrote "nok kelik".. "sorry".. hearing this from her mum, it was heartbreaking...

I did post this in Instagram on 11 October 2014:

My BFF, Faziana like the old pic of us in FB..how i miss the memories with them..previously,there were 6 of us.. but in 2009, we lost 1 of our BFF suddenly..i still remember how painful & shocked we were at that time..and there were 5 of us left.. but now another BFF got sick.. she was diagnosed with this rare disease last year.. Nothing can described how i feel right now..my tears easily drop everytime i think about her & our memories together.. it's heartbreaking seeing someone you love so much, your BFF who was so active back then, the one who dearly close to you & share a lot of memories with you, secrets with you, laying on bed unconscious.. i can't hold on my tears seeing you like that dear friend.. when i touch your hand i know you can feel me.. when you open your eyes seeing me crying i know you want me to be strong too..i told you that i was coming with my husband,you knocked your head as you realize that i was there.. your bp increase suddenly to 150.. maybe you are excited we're coming for you.. have a good rest dear friends.. speedy recovery..may your condition getting better.. i know you are a strong girl.. you are always a fighter.. our prayers always with you.. we love you syg.. please get well soon.. #prayforhuda

On 20 October 2014..masa tu dalam pukul 11.15- 11.30 pagi.. dalam perjalanan balik rumah untuk ambil barang customer dari UPM ke Kajang.. my heart feel uneasy.. tak tahu kenapa..masa tu memang teringat kat arwah Huda sangat sejak kawan-kawan inform Dr dah angkat tangan baca doa & cabut machine malam sebelumnya.. i can't sleep the night before.. and dalam kereta masa ni, hati sebak tiba-tiba & i cried.. it's like i can feel that seolah-olah Huda akan pergi.. walau kami jauh..rasa sebak mencengkam dada.. fikiran dah melayang pada Huda.. i said to myself..in my mind.. " Huda.. pergilah.. hani redha.. Huda dah banyak menderita..pergilah dengan tenang".. and i don't know why i've been thinking like this.. my husband who was driving at that time, hold my hand as he saw me cried.. i ask him.. "abang, lebih baik Huda pergi kan dari dia menderita?" my husband nodded and said.. " masa Huda dah tiba.. sayang kena redha..doakan yang baik-baik untuk dia".. then i cried so loud as reminiscing all the memories with Huda.. rasa satu perasaan yang sangat sukar untuk dijelaskan.. perasaan untuk melepaskan seseorang pergi dari hidup ni buat selama-lamanya.. my husband hug me..he's trying to calm me down.. but as for me, lagi pujuk, lagi kuat nangis.. sampailah reda sendiri perasaan tu.. and i feel at ease..






Then about 12.00 PM, masa tu i was at the post office..bertalu-talu whatsapp masuk.. in huge crowd at post office, i got the information that Huda had passed away.. Innalillahiwainnailaihirajiun.. Alhamdulillah, i'm not that shocked and stunt like i received the news arwah Yana died before.. it was difference this time.. i feel so calmed and not too panic.. maybe because i was prepared to face any circumstances.. from Ayu that i knew Huda had gone..because at that time, we whatsapp about something i guess..and few other friends whatsapp me too asking what i'm going to do.. at that moment, i didn't think about anything else.. in my mind, i just want to see her for the last time.. bagi penghormatan terakhir..nak hadiri majlis pengkebumian arwah.. i survey flight tickets & etc.. but none can reach before Asar, the time that she was supposedly to be buried.. i take hours to think what to do.. if i drive, it would be dangerous as i'm not that stable in the state of mind... plus i can't make it before Asar.. KL-Setiu about 6-8 hours.. so after a deep thinking, and discussing with other BFF too, we decided to visit Huda on 22 October 2014.. kebetulan cuti..so DJ and Faz want to join.. selasa malam rabu, fetch DJ at Damansara and Faz kat Kuantan.. then just got few hours sleep at my home before the next morning heading to Setiu.. we know that it's hard for us to visit her family and her grave after this.. so we take this chance to visit her altogether..






Huda dikebumikan di Tanah Perkuburan Islam Kg. Banggol, Setiu, Terengganu.. Mula-mula kami ke kubur arwah.. lepas tu, kami terus ke rumah nenek Huda yang tak jauh dari tanah perkuburan..we just gamble at that time. .. xtau siapa yang ada.. kami datang 6 orang..4 of us.. my husband.. and zati's husaband.. sesampainya kami, nampak ayah Huda.. ayah Huda jemput kami masuk.. then nampak mak Huda.. mak Huda nampak kami je, terus mata dia berkaca.. mak Huda peluk DJ..lama.. sambil menitiskan air mata.. kami semua pun sebak..automatik je mengalir air mata.. kami semua peluk mak Huda.. jauh di sudut hati, i know that mak Huda sedih, but she was a strong woman.. nampak ketabahan mak & ayah Huda sebenarnya..mereka redha atas pemergian Huda.. i still remember a bit about Huda's death.. cerita yang kami dengar dari mak Huda sendiri..





Mak Huda cerita.. masa malam sebelum Huda meninggal Dr dah inform parent Huda, there's no chance to recover.. family Huda kena bersedia.. sebab Huda akan pergi bila-bila masa.. mak Huda tanya Dr nak terus cabut machine & wire etc.. but the Dr said, biarkan Huda pergi dengan sendiri.. means that semua ahli family dibenarkan to stay with her in ICU..spending the last moment with her.. the way mak Huda cerita sebak sangat.. she said to Huda " Kak long pergilah dengan tenang.. mak ayah redha kak long pergi..kak long xdak hutang apa-apa dengan mak & ayah..kak long anak yang  baik.. dengar kata mak ayah..".. masa mak Huda cakap macam ni, ada air mata mengalir di pipi Huda.. means she heard that even she was unconscious...when i listen to this pun rasa nak nangis.. :'(.. masa Huda nak pergi, mak Huda, ayah Huda, adik Huda ada disisi.. & even one of her friend yang dtg visit masa tu.. dengar cerita mak Huda, that person is the one yang pergi Korea dengan Huda..masa Huda still sihat dulu.. so means, masa Huda pergi, famili dia ada menemani disisi.. mak Huda cerita Huda pergi dengan senang & tenang..she looked like she was sleeping.. lebih kurang jam 11.30 pagi.. the same time that i feel she was leaving...when i love someone so dearly, it's like i can feel what happened to them, even i'm not around them..  it happened many times actually..






another thing mak Huda cerita, pengurusan jenazah amatlah mudah.. she left around 11.30 am.. about 1 pm, waktu Zohor, jenazah dah siap dimandi & dikafankan.. even pengurus jenazah pun cakap amat mudah untuk menguruskan beliau.. Alhamdulillah.. majlis pengebumian pun berjalan lancar.. i was not there to witness all of these, but as a close friend to her, i'm proud & glad to hear this..rasa tenang setelah dengar cerita mak Huda.. kawan baik saya pergi dalam keadaan Husnul Khatimah..:') betul orang cakap.. bila amalan kita baik di dunia, bila kita tinggalkan dunia pun hanya perkara yang baik-baik akan berlaku.. ramai saudara-mara serta sahabat handai yang dekat dan jauh datang menziarahi Huda.. ramai yang post di FB Huda tentang betapa mereka terasa kehilangan sahabat sebaik Huda..sayang, i wish you can see all of these.. there's so many people who  miss you and care about you..

Here she is.. Dari pintu tanah perkuburan, gerak ke arah jam 10 (barat daya).. kubur arwah berhampiran dengan sungai.. as we arrived, i started to talk to her in my heart while others reciting surah Yasin since i can't.. " Assalamualaikum Huda sayang.. Huda apa khabar? maaf Hani datang lambat.. tengok dengan siapa Hani datang? semua BFF kita ada kat sini.. DJ..zati.. faz.. ben & faiz pun ada.. sebelum ni susah kan kita nak gather sama-sama? akhirnya berjumpa juga kita semua.. i was wonder.. how are you there? did you see that we are coming for you today syg? I hope you will be just fine.. InsyaAllah.. Huda anak yang baik.. kawan yang baik.. semoga Huda tenang di sana.. insyaAllah, suatu hari nanti kita akan jumpa semula di sana".. looking at her grave, while reminiscing our moment together, my tears drop easily.. 

Antara whatsapp2 terakhir kami dengan Huda.. Huda seolah-olah tahu yang dia akan pergi.. at the moment she started to apologize & everything, masa tu i had the feelings that she won't be stay long anymore..She already know that her time has come.. :'(

My husband once said.. 'orang yang baik-baik, memang Allah SWT akan ambil dulu.. sebab Allah SWT sayang..sebab tu Allah SWT ambil dulu kawan-kawan baik sayang...kawan-kawan abang Allah SWT tak ambil lagi sebab mereka banyak dosa.. Allah SWT bagi mereka masa utk bertaubat.. Allah SWT panjangkan umur  kita untuk kita terus bertaubat...' :'(

It's hard to let go the people that you love.. to know that they always be around you before, won't be there anymore.. but I learn that... people change.. people come & go.. no matter what happened, we have to move on.. sometimes, Allah SWT send someone in our life to change us.. or maybe we who change their life..  everything in this world belong to Allah SWT.. dari Dia kita datang..kepada Dia kita akan kembali..Terima kasih Tuhan kerana pernah meminjamkan orang-orang yang terbaik dalam hidup saya walau seketika.. i'm glad to know them even we don't have much time..  I always pray for them.. Nurul Diyana Bt Roslan.. Izzatul Huda Bt Abdul Ghaffar.. semoga kawan-kawan baik saya ni ditempatkan di kalangan orang-orang yang beriman.. insyaAllah..suatu hari nanti kita jumpa di sana..Al-Fatihah :)

p/s: to dear Amanita Verosa group, Zati, DJ and Faz, now only 4 of us left.. Hani dedicate this piece of writing to all of you.. our memory with both Yana & Huda.. and after what happened all these years, i hope that we'll make more good memories to be remembered..  may our friendship became stronger day by day.. may Allah SWT bless all of us with happiness.. ups & down together.. insyaAllah kawan sampai syurga.. Amin.. ;)