This few days, a lot of things came across my mind, & i feel a little bit stress.. yessss.. STRESS.. i think it's a normal syndrome for those who's getting married rite.. i do get stress because i've to think & decide the most important decision in my life... 4 things i've been thinking a lot lately..
1. MONEY $$$$$$$$$$$
yup.. money is the most problematic one.. ada duit stress, xde duit pun stress..hahaha.. funny! when we don't have money, we'll get stress thinking on how to get the money.. when we already got the money, we'll get stress on how to spend the money wisely & control the cash flows.. seriously, rasa duit mengalir macam air je..... bayar hutang semua, brape sgt la tinggal.. then, fikir kena saving utk beli kereta & kawen lagi... ohh money!! it's true that money is not everything, but everything needs money okay.. ada duit pun kena blajar saving & ikat perut dari sekarang... moga2 duit tersimpan & badan pun makin kurus.. aminnnnnn....
2. CAR
2nd problem is that, should i buy a car or not??? you know, living in a big university like UPM, it's very very hard to move everywhere without having a transport.. it's true that now i'm living in hostel & just can walk to the campus & lab, but how i'm going to survive if i dont have money & i want to go to the bank? how i can go to GSO, HEP, & etc if there's a problem i need to solve? it's true my fiancee is around but sometimes he wasn't around.. balik kampung etc.. dah la bangun tgh hari, kalau nak minta tlg anta pegi lab yg dekat ujung dunia tu pun malas...so, rela dtg awal pagi jalan kaki ke lab.. at least there's something i can do.. most of the time i've to depend on him.. beli groceries & everything.. orang ingat kami ni suka berkepit agaknya..tapi hakikatnya hanya diri sendiri je tau.. nak pegi mana-mana, amek barang, kena minta tlg..kadang2 kena paksa ikut kerenah diri ni.. sampai at one point, i was bored looking at him everyday.. hahaha.. this is true.. tau x ape perasaan, nak pegi mana2 terpaksa minta tolong & berharap pada orang lain selalu? dah la nak kena deal dulu semua.. susah nak bergerak dgn sendiri.. i'm an independent person, & i rather to walk alone or by myself.. rasa pergerakan agak restricted & i really hate this situation.. plus i'm going to do business soon, so of course i need to move a lot.. nak angkut barang-barang balik hometown lagi.. sampai bila nak harap kat en.tunang? but considering to buy a car, i need to think more broad.. about the monthly payment, services, fuel charge & etc.. buying a car, means i can't save money.. since i'm planning to get married, i do need to save a lot of money. unless i married next year, & maybe then i can save money for weddings.. so that's why i'm still in consideration of having a car..sigh! coz i feel like i need a car really bad..
3. WEDDING/MARRIAGE
The third things i've been thinking lately is about my wedding.. we haven't decided a date yet.. it supposedly in November 2013.. but with the current condition we faced (financial problems, study, research) both of us having rite now, it might be postponed to next year i guess.. maybe i get married along with my sister.. 2 brides in 1 wedding ceremony...Preparation wedding orang yang dah bekerja dgn orang yg belajar, it's a very very difference.. Once you dah bekerja, money isn't seem a big problem.. you may got a loan & etc..plus gaji orang yg dah bekerja sgt banyak if nak compared dgn gaji RA/GRF.. but for us who still studying, we can't save the money much .. & of course we can't do loan & whatsoeva.. we need money for our research too..if dapat full parental support, or brother/sister support, the wedding preparation will not a biggie probs for you.. lucky you.. but in my situation, i know my parent financial well (my parent wasn't that rich to support my wedding, they have other 3 children to support, & they didn't have any inherited money@ wealth from my ancestors), & i need to collect & save money alone, without hoping any cent from them.. if possible, i won't touch their money at all.. so just imagine how much i need to collect on my own? i won't just hoping on the scholarship i got, cause it wasn't enough.. that's why i'm trying to find another alternative to get money, which is by candy buffet, guestbook & photobooth business.. i'm just starting..i hope i'll get good feedback soon.. saya telah berusaha, the rest i left to Allah SWT.. i don't know whether this is some kind of test, a sign, or whatever, but I know Allah SWT plan is the best.. He has the reason why on what's happening to me.. *soal hati x perlu cerita..tetttt*
4. STUDY
The last problem is study.. there's not much progress of my research yet since i just changed my proposal.. my target is to finish CHAPTER 1 & CHAPTER 2.. & slowly write for paper/journals for the first objectives.. since a lot of things not complete for me to do the experiment, i need to wait for the suppliers quotation & etc.. needs to find chemicals & instrument.. hopefully there are some 'progress' for me in this 2nd SEM.. & i want to get married at least when i achieved the first objective of the study or have a progress.. expected in Oktober & upwards..hopefully.. do pray for me instead.. Aminn..
and because of all these problems, i do think that i really need a space for myself...in a calm & beautiful place.. i feel like i wanna have a sweet escape without having to worry about anything....i need to be calm & find my own self again.. i need to rest & have a vacation for myself..alone...
ada jugak karang balik hostel packing-packing baju & go wherever i want..
i always dream to have an adventurous journey.. alone..
Sounds yummy rite?? yeayy!! this is our new product.. chocolate fountain rental & packages that we provide.. check this out.. :)
rental fee=RM 100 with 2kg chocolate deposit=RM100 (will be return if the machine was returned in good condition)
Pakej 1: RM300 (50 pax - 100 pax) 2 kg chocolate 1 kg marshmallow 1 kg strawberry 1 kg grapes 0.5 kg kiwi 0.5 kg green apple 0.5 kg stick biscuits :: paper plates :: Tissue paper
Pakej 2: RM420 (101 pax - 200 pax) 3 kg chocolate 2 kg marshmallow 2 kg strawberry 2 kg grapes 1 kg kiwi 1 kg green apple 1 kg jejari stick biscuits :: paper plates :: Tissue paper
Pakej 3: RM550 (201 pax - 300 pax) 4 kg chocolate 3 kg marshmallow 2 kg strawberry 2 kg grapes 1.5 kg kiwi 1.5 kg green apple 2 kg jejari stick biscuits :: paper plates :: Tissue paper
Pakej 4: RM700 (300 pax- 400 pax) 5 kg chocolate 4 kg marshmallow 3 kg strawberry 3 kg grapes 2 kg kiwi 2 kg green apple 3 kg jejari stick biscuits :: paper plates :: Tissue paper
Pakej 5: RM900 (500 pax- 600 pax) 6 kg chocolate 4 kg marshmallow 4 kg strawberry 4 kg grapes 2 kg kiwi 2 kg green apple 2 kg jejari stick biscuits :: paper plates :: Tissue paper
Pakej 6: RM1500 (1000 pax) 12 kg chocolate 5 kg marshmallow 7 kg strawberry 7 kg grapes 3 kg kiwi 3 kg green apple 3 kg jejari stick biscuits :: paper plates :: Tissue paper
1. Additional charge for transportation fee.. Serdang, Putrajaya, Bukit Payong free of charge...
2. Additional charge for fresh flowers deco
3. Customer have to provide a table with table cloth & skirting
4.
This package is suitable for home party celebration, birthday, bridal shower, akikah, akad nikah, engagement, wedding, office celebration & etc.. you can add any item..pm us for more details
5. May cater 50-70 pax
6. Add on RM 100 for chocolate fountain machine rental+ 1kg choc fondue
7. Additional RM50 for an attendance to take care the booth during event
1. Additional charge for transportation fee.. Serdang, Putrajaya, Bukit Payong free of charge...
2. Additional charge for fresh flowers deco
3. Customer have to provide a table with table cloth & skirting
4.
This package is suitable for home party celebration, birthday, bridal
shower, akikah, akad nikah, engagement, wedding, office celebration & etc..
you can add any item..pm us for more details
5. May cater 70-150 pax
6. Add on RM 100 for chocolate fountain machine rental+ 1kg choc fondue
7. Additional choc fondue RM25/kg
8. Additional RM50 for an attendance to take care the booth during event
1. Additional charge for transportation fee.. Serdang, Putrajaya, Bukit Payong free of charge...
2. Additional charge for fresh flowers deco
3. Customer have to provide a table with table cloth & skirting
4.
This package is suitable for home party celebration, birthday, bridal
shower, akikah, akad nikah, engagement, wedding, office celebration & etc..
you can add any item..pm us for more details
5. May cater 150-300 pax
6. Add on RM 100 for chocolate fountain machine rental+ 1kg choc fondue
7. Additional choc fondue RM25/kg
8. Additional RM50 for an attendance to take care the booth during event
you may discuss further by pm us at our page or personal FB.. we also accept any budget from you & we will set the quotation.. :)
Lama tak update pasal business dalam blog.. weeee.. ok.. today nak umumkan new package for guestbook corner.. check this out:
Package 1 (RM250)
1. One table signage + white frame (written 'Guestbook Corner')
2.OneA4 size frame (welcome to the wedding of... )
3. One wishing tree A3 with frame
4. Two color ink fingerprint
5. One huge blackboard & whiteboard stand (Please Sign & take your photo here)
6. 100 pcs message note
7. Colourful Pen + Marker will be provided
8. 25 pcs photobooth props
9. Vintage Deco (or any deco as you wanted.. we will realize your dream)
1.One table signage + white frame (written 'Guestbook Corner')
2.OneA4 size frame (welcome to the wedding of... )
3. One wishing tree A3 with frame
4. Two color ink fingerprint
5. One huge blackboard & whiteboard stand (Please Sign & take your photo here)
6. 100 pcs message note (written by your friends & families.. & we may put in jar.. )
7. Colourful Pen + Marker will be provided
8. 25 pcs photobooth props
9. Vintage Deco (or any deco as you wanted.. we will realize your dream)
Terms & Condition:
1. Customer have to provide a table with table cloth & skirting and a chair (if possible) for 'Guestbook Corner).. we just came & set up the props & everything as mentioned above
2. Only item 1, 3, 4 and 6 will be permanently yours.. Other items are considered rental..
3. Additional charge for transportation based on your place.. different place, different transportation charge.. free of charge Serdang Selangor Area and Bukit Payong, Marang, Terengganu
4. If you need an attemdance to take care or guide people during event at the Guestbook corner, you may add RM 50..
P/S: You may also state your own budget, we will give quotation for you..
What is true love? Talking about true love, for me, true love is when someone loving you unconditionally, despite the bad & good things u have, he/she will always stay by your side forever.. he/she will accept you completely, full of love.. always support you & be by your side no matter what happened.. still loving you despite the hurts, hatred & anger, & care for you, even from far..even you are rarely contact with each other..even both of you already have different way of life.. distance never separates two hearts that really care.. even if she/he didn't belong to you, or not fated to be together with you, you will still in her/his heart forever.. some people said, 'true love never have a happy ending, because true love never ends'.. i guess so.. :')
p/s: Allah SWT knows what best for you hani.. He's the best planner.. have faith hani...have faith.. :')
1. Alhamdulillah.. 14/3/2013 duit ESH dah masuk! yahoooooo! lebih awal dari jangkaan..supposedly pegawai KPT bagitau elaun masuk 15/3/2013.. tapi bangun pagi dikejutkan dgn mesej dari bank islam.. tgh mamai tu tgk angka tertera.. ingatkan msj dari maxis ke apa..sekali terbuntang bijik mata.. never ever had such huge amount in my account! rasa nak wat printscreen & simpan je..hahaha..nanges kegembiraan.. yg penting sujud syukur dulu.. Alhamdulillah.. Allah SWT makbulkan doa di saat ada RM30 sahaja dalam bank.. encik tunang juga sudah tiada duit..bayangkan 2 weeks lagi baru dia gaji.. memang kami redha & pasrah.. i do have faith in Allah SWT & He granted my wish.. Please believe it.. masa tu redha je.. whatever happened, i won't ask for money anymore from my parent... so tau tak macam mana perasaan bila tetiba dapat durian runtuh?speechless & of course, totally excited & exaggerated..haha.. so, money is not a big issues now for me..no more stress.. no more thinking bout money.. but what i am stressed now is that, how to spend my money.. hahaha..
awal-awal lagi dah niat, the first thing i do once i get the money is to settle all the debt.. my fiancee's debt.. his friends debts.. hostel fee.. give some money to Along, Efi & Adik.. for mama abah, bila dorang datang KL next week baru bagi.. janji dengan abah hari tu nak belanja kasut crocs ori kat JJ Cheras Selatan.. mama maybe handbag @ shoes.. x sabar nak spending time dengan family.. weeehooooo!! so, for the first day, spending 5k mostly for the debt..haha..duit mengalir macam air jaa..& then celebrate Naim's Birthday (my fiancee's BFF) along with my roommate mira at San Francisco Pizza.. dah lama x makan sedap-sedap kan.. memang makan sampai xley bangun laa.. haha.. here some pic.. ;)
choc brownies + ice cream belongs to Naim & Mr. Ben..
Tiramisu.. mine.. jenuh nak perabih dengan mira...semput kekenyangan..haha
yesterday, belanja adik set rawatan rambut kronik (outside treatment) + aurawhite (collagen for stregthening the hair, treatment for inside)..also for myself... semua barang akan dipos kat rumah.. total lost almost RM600.. i don't mind spending a lot of money asalkan she'll be happy again with her hair.. sedih hari tu mama cite... adik mengadu.. "mama.. nanti mama ada duit, mama anta lah adik gi buat rawatan rambut.. adik nak rambut lebat macam dulu".. sedih ok.. walau saya ni x nampak sgt penyayang, mostly org cakap selfish or jenis yg xde hati & perasaan, tapi still ada perasaan ok.. cuma saya jenis yg x reti nak tunjuk mcm mana.. maybe lebih kpd perbuatan compared to percakapan..i know how her feeling is..sbb tu awal2 da niat nak bagi semua ni once dah dapat duit.. at least boleh ringankan beban mama abah walau sedikit.. :')..
semalam juga telah merewardkan diri sendiri.. beli 3 pasang kasut kat the mines..hahahaha..tapi bukan jenis mahal-mahal pun.. 1 selipar yg kukuh RM 44++ bagi menggantikan selipar RM8.90 yg dibeli masa selipar lama terputus kat kedai tu..yg trend sekarang ni.. bunga sekuntum tapi tapak tebal tu..hehe..harus lah beli warna hitam sbb boleh matching dgn semua baju..lagi satu warna hitam tak nampak kotor.. yg penting saya suka sbb selesa... tgk la selipar ni bertahan lama mana... harap-harap yg ni tahan lasak.. selama ni selipar paling tahan pon 3 bulan jaa..hahaha..xtau la kaki ape ni..ganas betul.. :P perasan juga saya dah lama x pakai high heels.. kawan-kawan pun ada tegur..hehe.. dah xde dah zaman vogue the vass kebabom tu..hahaha.. memandangkan skrg mmg banyak berjalan, mmg suka la jenis flat ni..hehe..omey x?muehehe
simple, cantik & selesa.. kaki saiz 8/9.. harus la besar gedabak.. ;P
1 lagi beli kasut flat untuk pegi lab..lebih proper masuk lab buat keje dgn kasut bertutup kan.. lagipun mmg kalau ikutkan peraturan lab kena pakai kasut bertutup sbb nanti nak handle chemicals lagi.. plus sale 50% sebab tu tergoda.. haha... RM25 je..plus memang comel & cute je macam tuan punye blog ni.. *sila muntah*
comel kan saya? totally irresistible.. -_-'
last but not least, saya beli kasut sukan.. RM59.90.. hobi sekarang berjoging.. 2x sebelum ni joging pakai kasut BUM..sila imagine..haha..lepas ni ada mission impossible nak kuruskan badan & jadi tough balik..disamping ingin menjaga kesihatan supaya lebih baik..kesihatan yg baik, minda juga lebih baik.. x gitew?? heee.. kasut sukan ni saya mmg minat brand POWER.. tapi xnak la yg jenis besar gedabak + berat tu.. nanti nak joging karang bertukar kpd senaman heret kasut..muehehe.. jadi pilih lah yang ni.. ni encik tunang yg suggestkan..terus berkenan.. hehe..his taste not so bad now.. we both have something in common at last..hahahaha.. & he got the same shoes with different colour... *sehati sejiwa sangat khennn.. -_-'*
kasut ni 'Girly' sangat..hahaha.. love it..lepas ni lagi semangat nak joging ;)
ohh.. terlupa pulak.. lepas ni mungkin akan ada hobi baru.. main TENIS..hehe.. kat UPM banyak sgt court tenis.. hari tu suarakan hasrat dekat en.tunang teringin nak main tenis macam zaman matrik dulu.. mengimbau kenangan..ececece.. haha.. xdelah..mmg suka main tenis sebenarnya.. so semalam kami da beli raket tenis + bolanya sekali..hajatnya pagi ni nak gi main.. tapi student 1st year ada ko-kurikulum plak.. mungkin petang ni kalau x ujan turun la.. yeay!! excited x sabar nak main tenis..hehe..
Half of the money of course xkan sentuh langsung.. it's all for My Wedding day.. even sekarang pon x trase lagi nak beli baju ke.. handbag mahal ke.. hehe.. kalau beli pun semuanya utk barang hantaran kot lepas ni..lagipun malas nak shopping baju & seluar dulu sbb aim nak kuruskan badan dulu.. i've got 2 months before BFF wedding day... nak dapatkan berat zaman undergraduate balik.. wish me luck.. ;)
2. Another thing yg buat saya happy adalah perasaan lega selepas berjumpa SV.. selepas mendengar penerangan dari Dr, saya sudah faham apa yg saya perlu lakukan.. & dah boleh start focus utk plan activity research selepas ni..tinggal nak baiki proposal je..lepas tu nak terus move to first objective..semoga urusan selepas ini dipermudahkan.. and semalam bagi SV isi form for MyBrain15 KPT.. she need to evaluate.. malam tadi baru teringat nak tgk..
1 (a) Sikap dan tanggungjawab pelajar
i. komitmen terhadap pengajian 5
ii. Integriti 4
iii. Disiplin diri 5
iv.Kualiti kerja dan tahap kecekapan 4
v. Kebolehan menilai sesuatu secara 4
menyeluruh
vi. Berdikari 4
(b) Kekerapan rundingan sangat kerap
(c) Ulasan penyelia terhadap pencapaian kemajuan pelajar
Pelajar telah memberikan komitmen yang tinggi terhadap kajian. Proposal telah dibentangkan. Tapak landfill telah dilawati. Pelajar dalam peringkat menghasilkan reaktor untuk air-stripping system.
Ok..happy... Alhamdulillah.. insyaAllah, in April 2013 dah boleh start projek.. doakan saya cepat abes study.. within 3 years InsyaAllah.. :)
I know I’m waiting Waiting for something Something to happen to me But this waiting comes with Trials and challenges Nothing in life is free
My Lord show me right from wrong Give me light make me strong I know the road is long Make me strong
Sometimes it just gets too much I feel that I’ve lost touch I know the road is long Make me strong
I know I’m waiting Yearning for something Something known only to me This waiting comes with Trials and challenges Life is one mystery I wish that somehow You’d tell me out aloud That on that day you’ll forgive me But we’ll never know cause That’s not the way it works I beg for your mercy
My Lord show me right from wrong Give me light make me strong I know the road is long Make me strong Sometimes it just gets too much I feel that I’ve lost touch I know the road is long Make me strong
p/s: lagu yg sgt menusuk kalbu.. the same thing that i feel.. Allah SWT,please make me strong:'(
This week i'm quite busy with the new proposal.. Alhamdulillah, settled one things.. after this just waiting for the feedback from my SV.. hopefully there'll be a project progress after this.. unfortunately, "i thought the weather will be hot till evening, but there's a rain in the afternoon" (peribahasa translate..kinda cool..hehe).. well, another probs coming...
Last Friday, we (me + fiancee) went to Alamanda for spending his BB1M at MPH & having lunch at Pizza Hut (since we're craving for fettucine carbonara which had such good offer on friday, only RM5++).. actually on previous wednesday we had already ate at Pizza Hut, but we promised each other to come back on Friday.. for your info, Pizza Hut now have a deal, everyday, there'll be selected menu (3 items offered), but you can only choose one menu per person.. save money a lot from the real price.. harus la hafal menu kat pizza selepas ni tgk yg yummy yummy & later set a day to come.. haha
back to the story, on thursday, i've got a message in FB from one of my friend, Atiyyah.. she asked me whether i've check my ESH (Elaun Sara Hidup) scholarship from MyBrain15 that i've always waited since 6 month ago i guess.. she said that some of my batch (the one that got offer letter on 12/11/12) had got the ESH already when they checked on Wednesday.. on that wednesday, i try to check (saje2 nk tgk sbnrnya before atiyyah inform that nite) tapi my atm card was rejected by the machine.. i was so positive at that time that maybe the bank system having the problem..so biarkan & malas check.. the next morning dapat msj in FB from atiyyah.. fine..menyesal x cek betul-betul..
then, on Friday, dengan penuh semangat waja siapkan proposal dari awal pagi & petangnya pegi Alamanda.. the first thing i do, went to atm machine.. i try to use the atm card at CIMB, then BIMB.. both rejected.. it said urusan x boleh jalan coz "switched' pebenda ntah.. so positive, maybe system banking tgh rosak @ down kot.. ye ye aje.. pegi pulak CIMB & Maybank area Watson.. still my card rejected.. dalam hati usah cakap la.. berdebar kemain nak tgk balance dalam bank tu tapi bila da tekan button 'balance inquiry' automatic keluar resit and kertas.. malas nak pk panjang, so we decided to eat first..da almost 4pm tapi x makan lagi.. makan dengan sangat lahap macam dinosaur ok..haha.. lepas makan, pegi atm depan pizza hut pulak.. cimb.. still the same.. hati tertanya-tanya lagi kenapa.. pastu cakap, xpela, nanti try kat atm lain.. pegi beli hadiah utk wedding kawan Mr. Ben.. bila lepas bungkus hadiah, semangat pegi kat ambank, tapi semua atm down.. menguatkan lagi sangkaan maybe seluruh Alamanda ni system x btol..haha.. fiancee pujuk bila tgk sy susah hati, cakap "nanti balik kita try kat upm pulak ek" maka hati terus riang semula..haha
lepas memborong di MPH ( tamat la sudah segala riwayat BB1M, me + him= RM500), gigih la pegi CIMB UPM.. keluar dengan semangat dari kereta, tapi masuk kereta dgn muka hampa.. still jadi macam tu.. fiancee pujuk lagi, "malam ni pergi Bank Islam kat Bangi ek" maka saya pun terpujuk lagi... haha..tepat jam 9 malam lepas Isyak, maka bergerak lah kami.. sampai kat Bank Islam Bangi, teruja balik, tapi lepas tekan button option "balance inquiry", resit keluar, kad keluar jadi macam sebelumnya..fikir logik, orang depan boleh je buat urusan, kenapa sy nak tau balance pun sampai kad rejected? why me? why me? suspect there's something wrong with my atm card or maybe my account.. xkan akaun saya kena block kot? sebab last Sunday, masa cek dekat CIMB UPM ok je.. bley je tgk balance dalam bank tu RM7.. nampak benor miskinnya..hahahaa.. dah start CUAK da masa tu.. what's wrong?? what's wrong?? masa tu fikir satu je.. kalau BIMB matikan account saya, mean saya terpaksa buat account baru, & then kena inform balik KPT kat Putrajaya & how many months more i've to wait?? alangkan da almost 6 month menunggu ni pon da sgt sgt terseksa..seriously.. till when i've to depend on biasiswa PAMA (father + mother), afford by fiancee (tunang saya sgt murah hati..duit dia, duit saya juga..heeee), & till when saya akan bernafas dengan lega tanpa hutang + worries about money? how can i focus study with all things messed up in my mind? fullstops..
Dengan perasaan yg penuh sebak di dada, masuk kereta..fiancee diam je.. tapi dia tahu saya sedih.. cuba menahan tapi menitik juga air mata.. masa tu macam-macam fikir.. rasa nak give up pun ada.. i kept asking why why at this moment, this thing happened to me.. stress.. tertekan.. marah..sedih.. semua ada.. i'm just an ordinary human, when reach at certain point, i felt helpless.. hopeless.. etc.. seriously, rasa mcm banyak sgt dugaan.. one by one.. non stop.. sambil nangis nangis berjurai air mata mcm air terjun meluahkan rasa yg terbuku di hati pada fiancee.. dia cuba pujuk.. tapi sbb sedih sangat nonstop air mata..sampaikan x jadi makan, bungkus bawak makan kat bilik je.. mati terus selera.. plus bengkak mata.. mahu x malu kalau nak makan kat kedai.. karang org pikir ape plak.. ingat sy kena dera kot..hahaha..
sampai kat bilik, tetiba terfikir.. there's one way for me to know whether my account is still available or not.. by trying to do cash deposit.. kalau duit diterima & tertera my account bank, then it means my account still available & maybe the prob is the atm card.. so terus bagi tau fiancee & he promised to bring me back to BIMB Bangi the next day.. macam-macam fikir & sampai tido x lena.. duk baring-baring sambil baca novel, msg him.. tanya buat apa mcm biasa.. discuss psl plan nak pegi bank esoknya..suddenly he msg me..
Him : Tuhan uji hambaNya mengikut kemampuan orang tersebut.. Dia tahu awak boleh tahan dengan ujian tu, sebab tu Dia uji macam tu.. Tuhan tu Maha Adil..
Me : Saya sayang awak.. & saya tahu saya akan bahagia bersama awak..hanya awak yang memahami saya.. trima kasih.. :'( {menitik air mata baca msj yg tiba -tiba masuk tu sbb sy sedar khilaf sy.. saya hilang kawalan.. saya tidak patut mempersoalkan ujian yg Allah SWT bagi.. saya tau saya kena kuat & redha..& dia telah menyedarkan saya.. saya tidak tahu mengapa tapi jauh di sudut hati saya yakin dia boleh membimbing saya ke arah yg lebih baik satu hari nanti..i think i've made right choice for choosing him.. & maybe this is the best for me..for everybody.. }
Him :Sama2.. setiap ape yang berlaku mesti ada hikmahNya.. cuma kadang-kadang kita je yg xtau.. Ape yang Tuhan buat adalah yg terbaik untuk hambaNya.. {saya akui kata-katanya itu.. }
so today, after breakfast, pergi bank.. dalam kereta, i read slip akaun yang minta kat kerani BIMB dulu (luckily have photocopy), so tau no.account.. baca dia punya rules & regulation kot.. Ada 2 points yang buat saya lega, relief agt & tenang:
Akaun simpanan tuan/puan akan ditutup secara automatik di atas sebab-sebab berikut:
1. Baki simpanan kurang daripada RM5.00 selama 6 bulan berturut-turut.
(selamat sbb ada RM7.00..haha.. x penah berurusan pakai Bank Islam pun..buat sbb MyBrain15 since master dulu.. :P) 2. Akaun tidak aktif selama 7 tahun. Baki akaun diserahkan kepada Jabatan Wang Tidak Dituntut
sampai je dekat bank, terus pegi cash deposit machine,taip no akaun.. ada keluar nama CIK NURUL HANIRA BINTI MAT LAZIM.. rasa lega sket.. try masukkan RM10..first time duit x terima sbb terpenyek kot..hahaha.. then, masukkan balik duit tu.. Alhamdulillah, urusan berjaya.. sgt lega sbb confirm akaun x mati lagi.. then, try again kat atm machine...nak tau 'balance enquiry' still rejected.. try nak buat 'online banking'.. still rejected.. so, we all decided nanti on Monday, pagi-pagi buta da nak terpacak depan BIMB Bangi tu.. harap-harap kad atm je problem, then, tukar je kad baru.. hope nothing serious.. & semoga segala urusan dipermudahkan.. maka sekarang saya telah kembali ceria walau ada sedikit resah memikirkan hal ini (sambil tertanya tanya duit da masuk ke blum.. harap2 daaa..InsyaAllah) so, ada sesiapa tak yg pernah mengalami masalah mcm saya ni?if ada, mohon share what i've to do.. susah jgk bila xtau kenapa jadi macam ni..
Bila masalah menimpa, saya mmg cepat panik, marah, sedih.. tapi lama-lama saya terima masalah tu & try to find the solution.. tapi ubatnya memang kena menangis dulu..haha.. saya sedar yg ini mungkin satu lagi ujian buat saya .. sebab bila Allah SWT sayang pada hamba-Nya, makin banyak ujian akan diberi.. sabar itu indah.. cuma bila masalah sebegini + lain-lain yg melanda, mmg saya xtau nak luah & share kat sape, dan hadapi macam mana..tiada teman rapat disisi macam masa master dulu..saya ada zati & ayu, kami satu rumah, maka boleh tanya pendapat or bercerita dari hati ke hati.. mmg ada kawan lab semua di sini, tapi saya tidak terlalu rapat dengan mereka.. segan nak minta tolong itu ini.. rumate baru pula weekend balik rumah & baru je berkenalan.. so, most of the time i'm all alone.. bila berada keseorangan di sini, saya akui saya agak rapuh.. maka hanya pada fiancee saya berharap..nak pergi mana-mana harapkan dia.. nak selesaikan masalah, harapkan dia.. mungkin orang lihat saya banyak bergantung pada dia.. orang ingat saya hanya mahu berkepit 24 jam dgn dia..tapi sebenarnya memang saya terpaksa bergantung pada dia.. apa option yg saya ada? saya tiada kenderaan nak pergi ke mana-mana.. bayangkan sendiri kalau duduk UPM xde kenderaan mcm mana.. hanya mereka yg pernah merasa tahu mcm mana..ada motor pun sudah bersyukur kot..
kadang-kadang rasa bersalah pada fiancee.. pada kawan-kawan fiancee.. saya takut sbb saya, kawan-kawan fiancee rasa tersisih.. saya tidak mahu mereka fikir yg fiancee terlalu mementingkan & mengutamakan saya berbanding kawan-kawan.. saya kenal fiancee saya macam mana.. dia sgt rapat dengan kawan-kawan.. saya tahu dia sayang kawan-kawan dia..malah saya juga x kisah dgn kawan-kawan fiancee.. sebab kawan dia, kawan saya juga.. malah saya lagi suka kalau dia ajak kawan-kawan dia ikut kami ke mana kami pergi.. tapi dia cakap takut kawan-kawan dia segan.. terbalik pulak..patutnya sy yg segan..haha..maybe becoz since i was a kid, i always close to boy friends than girl frends, so i'm not that shy to mix with others especially boys.. bagi saya, the more, the merrier.. sbb saya dah terbiasa kalau jalan2 beramai-ramai..enjoy ramai-ramai..sejak zaman master dah macam tu..ada geng tersendiri.. hehe..jadi bila saya seorang di sini, dah xde geng keluar ramai-ramai lagi.. saya sunyi.. :'( jujur saya akui, kalau ada kenderaan sendiri, insyaAllah boleh menyelesaikan semua masalah & hal sendiri tanpa perlu melibatkan fiancee.. kerana saya lebih suka berdikari.. even dekat Terengganu saya boleh shopping 4 jam kat Mydin sorang-sorang, driving sorang-sorang, apatah lagi bila duduk di sini yg heaven sbb banyak shopping complex..haha.. so, saya berharap sgt org akan faham keadaan kami..
saya bersyukur & beruntung ada fiancee yg tenang, sabar, & tak cepat melatah macam saya.. kadang-kadang rasa kasihan dengan fiancee.. sebab dia yang selalu jadi mangsa.. mangsa amarah saya.. mangsa lepas geram saya.. mangsa pak turut saya.. mangsa tempat saya nanges.. nak buat macam mana fiancee dia saya ini berperangai buruk.. bukan semua orang boleh tahan.. bukan semua orang boleh faham..nasib baik beliau amat memahami saya..dan lepas setiap satu-satu dugaan yg datang, susah senang bersama, ketawa menangis bersama, saling tolong-menolong (terutama bab duit, maklum la dua-dua student lagi :P), kami hadapi semuanya bersama-sama... dia sentiasa disisi saya..dan saya rasa kami sudah semakin matang, boleh bertoleransi dan insyaAllah apa jua rintangan bila sudah berumahtangga nanti, kami akan berjaya tempuhi.. kami percaya apa jua yg berlaku ada hikmah-Nya, dan salah satu hikmah adalah ianya berjaya membuatkan hubungan kami lebih kukuh.. dah jarang bergaduh mcm mula-mula kenal dulu.. even skrg dah x pernah merajuk lama-lama (either me or him), sbb both of us akan rasa serba tidak kena..ujian telah membuatkan kami lebih matang.. honestly, since 2006 we've been with each other, he did changed a lot now.. and i think i'm falling in love with him for the 2nd time.. (^_^) dan saya harap sgt urusan kami seterusnya dipermudahkan.. InsyaAllah..
Dear Mr fiancee, Thank you for everything.. Thank you for accepting me for who i am, neither bad or good ..Thank you for always be there, right here with me.. Thank you for your endless support & courage.. & Thank you for loving me unconditionally & endlessly for almost 7 years.. Thank you.. :) Sincerely, Your Mrs Fiancee
