Friday, March 29, 2013

~ Escape~

 Hi & Assalamualaikum...

This few days, a lot of things came across  my mind, & i feel a little bit stress.. yessss.. STRESS.. i think it's a normal syndrome for those who's getting married rite..  i do get stress because i've to think & decide the most important decision in my life... 4 things i've been thinking a lot lately.. 

1. MONEY $$$$$$$$$$$

yup.. money is the most problematic one.. ada duit stress, xde duit pun stress..hahaha..  funny! when we don't have money, we'll get stress thinking on how to get the money.. when we already got the money, we'll get stress on how to spend the money wisely & control the cash flows.. seriously, rasa duit mengalir macam air je..... bayar hutang semua, brape sgt la tinggal.. then, fikir kena saving utk beli kereta & kawen lagi... ohh money!! it's true that money is not everything, but everything needs money okay.. ada duit pun kena blajar saving & ikat perut dari sekarang... moga2 duit tersimpan & badan pun makin kurus.. aminnnnnn....

2. CAR

2nd problem is that, should i buy a car or not??? you know, living in a big university like UPM, it's very very hard to move everywhere without having a transport.. it's true that now i'm living in hostel & just can walk to the campus & lab, but how i'm going to survive if i dont have money & i want to go to the bank? how i can go to GSO, HEP, & etc if there's a problem i need to solve? it's true my fiancee is around but sometimes he wasn't around.. balik kampung etc.. dah la bangun tgh hari, kalau nak minta tlg anta pegi lab yg dekat ujung dunia tu pun, rela dtg awal pagi jalan kaki ke lab.. at least there's something i can do.. most of the time i've to depend on him.. beli groceries & everything.. orang ingat kami ni suka berkepit agaknya..tapi hakikatnya hanya diri sendiri je tau.. nak pegi mana-mana, amek barang, kena minta tlg..kadang2 kena paksa ikut kerenah diri ni.. sampai at one point, i was bored looking at him everyday.. hahaha.. this is true.. tau x ape perasaan, nak pegi mana2 terpaksa minta tolong & berharap pada orang lain selalu? dah la nak kena deal dulu semua.. susah nak bergerak dgn sendiri.. i'm an independent person, & i rather to walk alone or by myself.. rasa pergerakan agak restricted & i really hate this situation.. plus i'm going to do business soon, so of course i need to move a lot.. nak angkut barang-barang balik hometown lagi.. sampai bila nak harap kat en.tunang? but considering to buy a car, i need to think more broad.. about the monthly payment, services, fuel charge & etc.. buying a car, means i can't save money.. since i'm planning to get married, i do need to save a lot of money. unless i married next year, & maybe then i can save money for weddings.. so that's why i'm still in consideration of having a car..sigh! coz i feel like i need a car really bad..


The third things i've been thinking lately is about my wedding.. we haven't decided a date yet.. it supposedly in November 2013.. but with the current condition we faced (financial problems, study, research) both of us having rite now, it might be postponed to next year i guess.. maybe i get married along with my sister.. 2 brides in 1 wedding ceremony...Preparation wedding orang yang dah bekerja dgn orang yg belajar, it's a very very difference.. Once you dah bekerja, money isn't seem a big problem.. you may got a loan & gaji orang yg dah bekerja sgt banyak if nak compared dgn gaji RA/GRF.. but for us who still studying, we can't save the money much .. & of course we can't do loan & whatsoeva.. we need money for our research too..if dapat full parental support, or brother/sister support, the wedding preparation will not a biggie probs for you.. lucky you.. but in my situation, i know my parent financial well (my parent wasn't that rich to support my wedding, they have other 3 children to support, & they didn't have any inherited money@ wealth from my ancestors), & i need to collect & save money alone, without hoping any cent from them.. if possible, i won't touch their money at all.. so just imagine how much i need to collect on my own? i won't just hoping on the scholarship i got, cause it wasn't enough.. that's why i'm trying to find another alternative to get money, which is by candy buffet, guestbook & photobooth business.. i'm just starting..i hope i'll get good feedback soon.. saya telah berusaha, the rest i left to Allah SWT.. i don't know whether this is some kind of test, a sign, or whatever, but I know Allah SWT plan is the best.. He has the reason why on what's happening to me.. *soal hati x perlu cerita..tetttt*


The last problem is study.. there's not much progress of my research yet since i just changed my proposal.. my target is to finish CHAPTER 1 & CHAPTER 2.. & slowly write for paper/journals for the first objectives.. since a lot of things not complete for me to do the experiment, i need to wait for the suppliers quotation & etc.. needs to find chemicals & instrument.. hopefully there are some 'progress' for me in this 2nd SEM.. & i want to get married at least when i achieved the first objective of the study or have a progress.. expected in Oktober & upwards..hopefully.. do pray for me instead.. Aminn..

and because of all these problems, i do think that i really need a space for a calm & beautiful place.. i feel like i wanna have a sweet escape without having to worry about anything....i need to be calm & find my own self again.. i need to rest & have a vacation for myself..alone...

ada jugak karang balik hostel packing-packing baju & go wherever i want..
i always dream to have an adventurous journey.. alone.. 
in a places i've ever known..
baru thrill kan?? :P

till then, bye bye & take care..

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