~Pizza Hut Delivery (PhD)

Hi & Assalamualaikum..

First of all, entry ni xde kaitan dgn tajuk besar di atas..muahaha..korang tertipu..* sambil nyanyi lagu tipah tertipu (tipah tertipu tipu tetipah......whatever.. (-_-')*.. tetapiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii... ada kaitan dgn tajuk kecik yg dlm kurungan tu..kihkih.. actually entry ini ingin meluahkan rasa hati.. sbb dari semalam lagi duk pendam sorg2..pastu mula la nk stress & emo sorang2 kan..maaflah.. tgh bulan mengambang ni mmg mood tgh swing kot..nasib ko la labu sesapa yg terasa & terkena tempiasnya..hahaha.. nahhhh..meh kita share stress ni sama-sama.. hahahaha *kejamnye haku mengheret korang sekali.. :P *

You know what.. saya ni memang jenis yg x suka jaga tepi kain org.. unless something happened or berlaku depan mata saya sendiri.. (saya?? sopan sket.. sbb if guna aku mcm kasar je kan.x biasa..hope korg biasakn dgn entry skema ni..hehe.)..ok..back to the story.. sy jrg la nk update psl cite kawan2.. kecuali in FB or blog, sy tau cerita kwn2 from what they post or we pm.. sy contact pon with people yg rapat2 je.. so people yg less important, i don't give a damn lahh.. sbb i'm not kinda busy body person yg sibuk nk tanya hal setiap orang kan.. & saya juga x suka bercerita psl diri sy.. sy bukan diva or artis smpai jadi perhatian orang.. but when other people asked me what i'm doing, what i've been up to, i honestly tell them what's going on in my life.. coz i thought those people yang asked about me & current life do care & remember me..  that's what i thought laa..x tau la if dorang ni ade pape udang di sebalik mee ke ape..

so, nak dijadikan cerita.. there's a friend of mine...long long time ago.. never contact me at all before, suddenly msj me last night.. no.die familiar.. but x save in my phone.. sbb tukar hp baru tahun lepas kan..jadi banyak la no. yg lost.. so, the conversation is like this.. 

X: tak kenal da ke.sedih.hu

me: no.xde dalam hp. sbb tukar hp baru.

X: ow xpe2.. :)

me:sape ni?

X: ........ x keje?

me: Da agak da.. no.mcm familiar.. tgh keje ngan mak sdare smntara waktu..kat pekan phg la ni

X: ooo.. keje ape?

me: keje kantin je..smntara tggu bulan 9..

X: knapa bulan 9?

me: Nk smbg blaja.. Sem 2012/2013.. Insyaallah..

X:Aik? phd?

me: :)

X: biar betul?

me: kenapa? x boleh ke?

X: Bukan x boleh.mcm x pcaya. brapa tahun?

me: haha..ape psl x pcaya? sy x lyk buat phd ke? insyaallah 2 thn sampling, 1 year writing..

X: bukan x layak la.. =_='..Tp standard phd 4 tahun tu kira cpt da tu.. mcm x puas blaja lg ke.duh. xnak kawin ke ape ke

me: kawen time blaja xley ke?haha..slagi x dpt title DR kat depan, mmg xkn puas blaja.. for my mom and abah..

X:xde maknenye.. 3 tahun x logic la.mcm terlalu cpt. come on, there is nothing title dr kat dpn kalo ilmu tu x guna sgt..sory, bukan nk pandang rendah.jgn terasa eh.cuma ingn tahu je.. :)

me: helo..x pnh dgr ke syarat nak grad phd 3-5 years..that 3 years was told by my sv.. jangkaan die..however we just can predict, yang lain Allah swt tentukan.. & of course ilmu yg ada utk diguna..sbb my target wanna be lecturer..baru ni dpt inteview uitm jengka..stage 1 mock teaching da lepas.. isnin last week stage 2..tapi sy x pegi sbb i've decided to further study first..

X: ow.. bgus2.. :) betul la x fix 5 tahun ke apa.. ada yg terkandas tgh jalan pn ada sbb paper tgh study org da publish..so mmg tough la..respect abeh ah.. :)

me: i didn't need people respect ke ape.. smbg blaja utk capai cita2 diri sendiri.. it's not something that to be proud of..i know it's going to be tough.. i know many people will doubt.. but i believe in Allah.. he's the one yg tentukan.. bukan people judgement n whatsoeva..slame ni pon i just gamble.. dulu masa nk smbg master pon sama jgk..org doubt.. ckp kalo amek coswork xley smbg phd la.. blaja sungguh2.. bkn main2.. & niat kena betul.. that's all my prinsip..

X: Gud2.. gambatte :) semoga dapat title yg dikejar :)

me: dulu masa kecik mama n abh nk sgt anak die jd doctor.. tp x dpt sbb teruk masa matrix kan.. so' i'll make sure cita2 dorg tercapai..even bkn medical doc.. i bet u would do the same to make ur parent happy rite? bukan nk kejar sgt title dr. utk membangga diri ke ape..it's all for them..lgpon sy muda lg,..baru 23.. kalo da tua2 blajar susah.. n if keje dulu, takut pyh da nk smbg.. just pray for me.. that's all i need..

..... the conversation stop.....

kalo korang la... ada kawan mcm ni... ape korang rasa??

honestly...mula mula tu rasa hepi sbb hey, this person do remember me yawww.. 

then bila masuk start conversation yg ni:

"xde maknenye.. 3 tahun x logic la.mcm terlalu cpt. come on, there is nothing title dr kat dpn kalo ilmu tu x guna sgt..sory, bukan nk pandang rendah.jgn terasa eh.cuma ingn tahu je.. :)"

i was like...dowhhh.. u ni knape?? sentapp ok... part paling best yg ni...3 tahun x logic la.mcm terlalu cpt. come on, there is nothing title dr kat dpn kalo ilmu tu x guna sgt.perlu ke cakap mcm tu?derr..i mana tau 3 tahun tu logic ke x.. tu jangkaan SV je.. bila da buat projek baru bley estimate definitely.. i baru nk sambung je..bkn da dpt phd pon.. -_-'..  & kenapa perlu mention "there is nothing title dr kt depan kalo ilmu tu x guna sgt? what do u mean? yg saya ni smbg belajar semata-mata nk dpt title DR pastu goyang kaki duk umah? derr.. ingat i ni x fikir ke ape da habes berpuluh-puluh ribu blajar pastu x manfaatkan ape yg i blajar? cita-cita i nk jd lecturer.. nk kembangkan ilmu kat anak2 muda..buat research yg bley menyumbang kpd negara.. bukan sambung belajar nk habiskan duit mak bapak je..ingat i ni anak org kaya ke? sbb tu i bersusah-susah belajar skrg, utk kesenangan masa depan..untuk repay back my parent.. tu niat i"

but then, when he said...

"sory, bukan nk pandang rendah.jgn terasa eh.cuma ingn tahu je.. :)"

ohh..ok...saya salah faham.. die berniat nak tau je.. so, kurang sket rasa sentap.. tapi still la terasa kan..

then, he said: 

bgus2.. :) betul la x fix 5 tahun ke apa.. ada yg terkandas tgh jalan pn ada sbb paper tgh study org da publish..so mmg tough la..respect abeh ah.. :)

hmmm.. perlu ke mention  'ada yg terkandas tgh jalan pn ada sbb paper tgh study org da publish'.. i think he maybe wanted to remind me.. tapi cara tu mcm x kena je..xtau la kalo i yg ter emo lebey plak kan.. tapi seriously.. once i've decided to do something, nothing can change that.. even u mention mcm2 pon.. sbb for me, 'Try first, then u will know how far u will go".. jangan belum buat pape, dgr ckp org mcm2, terus takut.. kalo setakat nk dgr rumours mcm2 mmg da byk dgr... dah x larat nk dgr sbnrnya.. orang tu ckp gini..org tu ckp mcm tu..yelah.. i sedar sape diri i ni..  x hebat mcm korang.. buat research gempak2.. i belajar master pon coursework je.. xla masuk lab guna machine canggih2 so far.. tapi nk tanye la, dulu korang terus pandai ke wat research? terus pndai guna semua alat & machine? mesti kena belajar jugak kan?? mcm korg keje jugak..korg keje terus tau ape nk buat ke?? mesti kena diajar terlebih dahulu oleh orang lama kan?? so it just the same.. when u study, it is a must for u to learn.. masa ni la nk gather ilmu byk2.. so x pyh la korang susah2 nk doubt utk sy samada sy bley pergi jauh atau tidak.. nway, thanks la kpd sesapa yg concern & risau psl sy nk amek phd ni.. insyaallah, i know & realize what i've been decided & will do.. I can take care of myself too.. coz I believe in Allah SWT..  :) and it's true when i said i didn't need people respect ke ape.. sbb saya smbg blaja utk capai cita2 diri sendiri..dlm hidup sy i've planned what i wanna be.. what i'm going to do.. & i'll make sure by hook or by crook i achieved my dream.. that's me.. i won't satisfied until i got what i want in this life.. both here & hereafter.. saya hanya berusaha.. the rest i leave it to God.. for me, belajar at PhD level,  it's not something that to be proud of..  kenapa perlu nk bangga? ingat sng ke? baru nk smbg PhD org len da kecoh..kalo wat second degree, master or phd mcm Prof. Babjee agaknya nk kiamat dunia ni kot? -_-'..   i know it's going to be tough.. i know many people will doubt.. but i believe in Allah.. he's the one yg tentukan.. bukan people judgement n whatsoeva..slame ni pon saya just gamble.. dulu masa nk smbg master pon sama jgk..org doubt.. ckp kalo amek coswork xley smbg phd la.. susah dapat keje laa.. i'm telling u the truth, bdk master senior & same batch pon dpt jd lecturer uitm.. dpt keje with environment consultant..sapa pandai2 ckp blajar coswork susah smbg phd & dpt keje?? for me, it's simple.. blaja sungguh2.. bkn main2.. & niat kena betul.. tu je..

lastly, before he silent.. 

"Gud2.. gambatte :) semoga dapat title yg dikejar :)"

derr.. perlu ke mention  "semoga dapat title yg dikejar :)"????? mcm memerli ke ape?ke saya je yg trase begini?? x boleh ke ckp "semoga impian awak tercapai.. saya doakan awak"??? x boleh ke cakap " gudluck my friend..will always support u..wish u all da best"..."semoga Allah memakbulkan impian awak"?? korang nampak x kat situ? sape x sentap kann.. i bet this guy mmg fail about communication skill..that's why people don't like him kot..

the issues that i wanted to highlight here is that..sambung master ke phd ke nowadays bukan utk dibanggakan pon.. 'there's nothing to be proud of'.. sambung PhD bukannya nk show off yang aku ni pandai ke ape.. NO!  & then, maybe some people kena belajar how to communicate with others kot.. sbb kadang2 manusia ni x sedar..die rasa die ckp mcm biasa..padahal banyak menyakitkan hati org lain..   so  muhasabahlah diri.. jangan dok asyik post pum pam pum pam mcm alim & bersifat keagamaan tapi ur behave is not like that.. at least biar selari keperibadian diri dgn apa yg diamalkan.. I've already come across thousand people.. especially people who love to see the others down.. can't bear with other's success.. but thanks to them becoz i've become more stronger than i thought.. thanks to them coz this people actually boost me to work harder & to prove them wrong..i'm a highly motivated person & if u wish or u think u may bring me down, please think again..  thank u.. :')

here some quotes i want to left for u.. renung-renungkan & selamat beramal...

Jika ada orang bicara mengenai kita di belakang,
Itu adalah tanda bahawa kita sudah ada di hadapan..

Saat orang bicara merendahkan diri kita,
Itu adalah tanda bahawa kita sudah berada di tempat yang lebih tinggi..

Dan saat orang bicara dengan nada iri mengenai kita,
Itu adalah tanda bahwa kita sudah jauh, Lebih baik dari mereka :)

p/s: disebabkan ramai sgt yg tertanye2 & doubt psl sy, next entry i will tell a story how i decided to further study instead of working.. :)